Apples of Gold

A word aptly spoken is like 

apples of gold 

in settings of silver.

Proverbs 25:11

Have you ever found yourself in a situation, sometimes quite by surprise, fumbling for the right words to say? I have. Many times.

This feels so crucial, because mostly, many of us just don't want to say the wrong thing. You know. That thing. That jumps out of our mouths before we've had the chance to think it through thoroughly. That sounds insensitive, or ignorant, or just plain.... dumb.

Because we want to be helpful.
Because we've been on the receiving end of thoughtless words.
Because we just don't want to make a tough situation ... worse.

When things started to unravel around here, Jon & I took the road of being open with friends and family around us. It felt very vulnerable to share our anxieties and concerns with many other people. We discovered a beautiful net of prayer; many friends passed on our requests to their friends and because of our electronic age, we had people all over the world praying for us. Still takes my breath away.

However, it also opened us up to well-intentioned, trying-so-hard-to-be-helpful remarks. We took those as they were usually given, in love. And the rest we've slowly let go of. Recalling the many instances when I haven't said the right thing at the right time, this wasn't usually too hard!

Here were some of the gifts of words that people shared with us. Still a blessing...

Gracious Words
... I was standing in a line at our church potluck. A gracious woman from our church, who has quite a health story of her own to tell, gently spoke to me: Leah, just remember to be gracious with yourself. She had no idea how those simple words spoke so deeply to me at a time when I truly needed them. Grace ... I was sure going to need it to make it through the coming months. And permission, in some ways, to wrestle and struggle with the difference between what I knew in my head and what I felt in my heart. Much later I went to her and shared how much her words meant to me. She had no recollection of saying them. She is very humble :). I wanted her to know what a gift her kind comment had been for me.


Gracious Surprises
... It was the night before our 4-week-old daughter's MRI appointment. Neither Jon nor I had been near an MRI machine before (for which we are grateful for in more ways than one!!) and we had no idea what to expect. I was pretty much rattlin' in my bones from the anxiety of it all. And the doorbell rang. I groaned. I had no energy left for anything, let alone unexpected guests. I am so thankful I answered the door. There stood a friend, a recent acquaintance, who'd already walked the road of "different kind of blessing" for six years. She sat with us. Listened to us. Shared with us. EnCOURAGEd us. Because of her visit, I was able to sleep at night (unusual at the best of times!!) and face the coming day with a sense of we-can-do-this. I am very reserved and don't typically show up at someone's house unannounced. I am so glad she did. What a gift it was.

Not all love uses words

A very sweet couple, well into their senior years, stopped by our house one day. Only, we were eating supper and since they never rang the door bell, never said a word, we didn't know it until much later. But they left us a little gift.  A single red rose, picked from their garden, gently left in a cup of water and a little card that shared their heart with us. I left that little rose out for as long as I could. It's vibrancy, delicacy and the spirit in which it was given meant much to me.

As far as I know, we've saved every email that was sent to us during that time. My intention, at some time, when I "have time" :), is to go through them and create a single document of encouragement out of them. How sweet to look back, what a gift to also share with our children when the time is appropriate. Honestly, I probably still couldn't get through them without shedding a tear a two.

As I mentioned, there are times when I find myself in a situation where there are no easy words. And these days, I'm not the fastest thinker, either :). However, I do try to practice some of the lessons I've learned through this....
Sometimes a simple statement can open up a whole world of conversation. A wow, that sounds tough or it sounds like you've had a hard week can be all it takes to stop and listen as someone shares their story.

Or
How a simple act of kindness can mean so much. Recently I was encouraged to hear of a friend who surprised her friend by visiting her in the hospital. The situation was difficult and the extra helpful presence was meaningful.

Often I find it helpful to come home and ask Jon just what he would say or do in those moments. He usually has something very insightful and helpful to impart :).

What acts of kindness, be it words, actions, prayers and so on, have made the difficult journey a little lighter?