A Particular Kind Of Joy

I have to admit - when we wrestled with the decision of whether or not to go on and have a third baby, there was one aspect I didn't really worry fret obsess think about too much -- that stage when the younger would surpass the older in terms of developmental milestones. We knew it would happen, we accepted it from a distance, and left it at that.

I just didn't think we've enter into that stage so soon.

It is a particular kind of joy, watching our youngest daughter, now 15 months, starting to explode in her learning. Her words are accumulating on a weekly basis. Her fine motor skills are already so refined and graceful. She is in constant motion, a force to be reckoned with. It takes some getting used too!!! It is beautiful, and we celebrate each and every thing she does.

And yet, there is a tug on the heart strings. 

I recall, vividly, trying to coax these same milestones along with Sweet K. Playing with the developmental toys (there are some toys, that, if I ever see them again, it'll be too soon!!!). Repeating repeating repeating repeating.  Hand-over-hand learning, guiding her body until what came so naturally to myself, to others, came naturally to her too. Some days were ... are ... hard.

In all honesty, I wouldn't change the journey. We are head-over-heels in love with each of our three daughters as they are. However, that doesn't change the fact that sometimes there is still an ache that runs deep when I observe how the natural process of learning is effortless for some, laborious for others. 

I have often thought of learning like filling a cup with water --- 

For some, it is like turning on a tap, almost instantaneous. 

For others, it is like drawing water from a well, and it can take a lot of effort before that sweet reward is enjoyed. 

Both, however, are miracles unfolding, to be savored and enjoyed.

It still surprises me that we are beginning to wrestle through this stage already, and yet it also just seems normal for us, and adds to our sense of family adventure! But, admittedly, it is a particular kind of joy that I grapple with from time to time.